[page 1] Dear friends both. It is so long since it was my day [?] to write to you. That I am ashamed & will not attempt or apologise only thank you with my heart for the books which came quite safely to me at Newport & which I enjoyed very much. as well as the one you brought me. I kept the little Dorothys [sic] poems until I could show it to Emma Stebbins when I should rejoin her at New York. When I saw you last you will remember that I was getting into a fear with regard to myself
[page 2] well it all turned out as I feared. I had intended getting help from an electrician [?] – Neftel in NY. but on my arrival he pronounced it to [sic] far advanced for him to attempt his method upon me. & it was pronounced [?] that nothing but the knife [?] could help me. & that could only take off the head of the monster for a short time. for it would grow again. For the last three weeks I have been living in the most dreadful state of uncertainly [sic] & indeciscive [sic] which has told upon me very much but at last. I have been forced to abandon the idea of any help from the violent proceeding--which wd [would] most likely, bring on the same constitutional troubles which followed the first operation. Putting [?] all together
[page 3] I have found that I must wait Gods [sic] will. Trying every alternative [?] I can find to my ever encroaching Malady. This struggle which has been going on in my mind. has prevented me from writing to you. but you will forgive me I know. All this trial [?] & struggle has made it seem so long since I saw you or heard of you. What are you doing. I see Jamies [sic] work in the Magazine. How come on the 'Holly Trees'--everybody is so enchanted with the idea. & I find you so much praised for it - it was such a nice thing to do. How I enjoyed your little little visit to me. & how I hope - if I am spared to be in Newport this summer. That [inserted] +++ you will +++ it. for I must be there if any where.
[page 4] Emma Stebbins was so sorry to miss seeing you at Newport. she sends kindest love & hopes to see you this summer. If you see dear Loni [?] Hunt & William embrace them both for me. I love them very much & think of them very much. I ought to write to her. & will do so when I get an inspiration. I hope you recd [received] Dollies [sic] poems quite safely. let me know if you did – send me anything you want me to read, +++ dears. & you shall have them back. I see a notice of +++ in to Thorough +++ - it must have been fine. God bless you both.
ever believe me your faithful
Charlotte Cushman