Letter from E. B. Fisher to Charlotte Cushman, Oct 8, [1836]
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Library of Congress, Charlotte Cushman Papers, Manuscript Division, Library of Congress, Washington, D.C.Creator
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[3311 reverse]
I have opened my chest[?] and put almost +++ not to send it, and +++
instead the wish that as formely I rank as your friend – But not for
I should only know you again, - again to lose you, and gather renewed thorns[?]
around the pathway of my life – It is better that we should meet no more, and
I leave to you to appreciate and think worthily of my motives –
set not misconstruction erase me from your kindly[?] remembrance. But
think of me as of one. who in the enjoyment of much was very unhappy +++
a +++ notion which he cannot shake off -
I know not but I may offend in offering to Miss C. should she ever need it
my +++ - In the spirit or brotherly feeling is it offered, and you may
ever rely upon me freely – My own wants are but few, and do not swallow
one half of my available +++, and as there are phrases in the lines of
all you may oblige me somtime with calling upon me to redeem my promise
Until then.
Your +++ friend
To Miss Charlotte Cushman
[3311 part 1] I have said you +++ +++, you are more, you have strong. & decided genius ( I +++
+++ you not, this is an hour when I never play the coutier[?] (tis past midnight) - but
you have +++ you all the material of a great mind in a higher rank, than the
one you have chosen +++ I would +++ in the luxurious employment of forming the
elements of your mind into a perfect and harmonous +++ of literary grandness to open
for you, the doors of the temple of knowlege and watch your spirit, catching at, and
embodying the +++ learning of the past. I have +++ speculated idly upon your
character. - You have power to cope with & conquer the +++ proportions of
literature, to +++ the sophisticy, and +++ +++ the philosophy of learning, and
a few years of study, would glue to you far higher claims to the admiration of the
world than you can ever hope to otherwise enjoy. Believe me. I am sincere in all this
then is an originality of conception, a freshness of thought, a pactical arrangement of
ideas in your developed temperament, which if directed aright would create –
+++ enduring & graceful - The lines you handed me this moning, are really
good. when we take into consideration the corallary circumstances – Your letters are
determined, graceful & spirited, and show that the mind is there, and all that is
wanting is assiduity and care, and you must reap the +++ of your toil. So long
as you stand connected with the stage, you cannot devote your time to study of an
+++ character. and I fear +++ that talents will be wasted, that are in the
essentials most truly excellent, Pardon me, but you know not, cannot know the
interest I take in your welfare, despite my wish to forget you– yon have al
most become to me a sister, and isolated as I now am from the endearments of
my own family circle. I have cut my heart in twain, and given our society, and a
large one, to you - As a brother then I speak, and as a brother, I say, that next
to own my own talented sister, you have won my admiration by the developements
of or mind - It is my only test of woman, and I have judged you by the
standard, and most truly do I asseverate, that you are second to none, save her
I have alluded to, in the primary elements of your genius -
I could worship you as a +++, in the same ratio that I now +++ you as a woman[?]
[3311 part 2] and would be willing to give up +++ ambition, every thing, to dig a pathway for
you along the thorough faces of life –
I am a perfect slave to this idiosyncrasy
+++ +++ after +++ in woman, for she alone can perfect it in the flow, and
clothe it with spirituality. I cannot +++ myself, but I can appreciate the
+++ in others[?], and probably can estimate it real worth, better than older & wiser
critics - If God in his wisdom had gifted gifted me with the power of +++ my soul
in +++ I should have be willing to forge my present fortunes, and beg my bread[?]
But to return[?]
You will probably leave Albany for Philadelphia - and as I do not wish to
meet you again, I shall send you on your apprising me of your intention of
going to the latter places, such letters as will be of service- This I feel bound to do
because & I have so promised - That you may be fully successful in whatever
position in life you assume, is my earnest prayer, and that you will I can have
no doubt, My stay in this country is +++ for I shall undoubtedly go to France
in June- and stall remain abroad for several years, by who the end of which I trust
shall have +++ away the silly emotions that now make my bosom a miniature hell
Then when Miss Cushman shall have settled down into the matron[?] the wife & the mother
I shall +++ to +++ over with her the page of the past, and drag from then +++
many of the absurdities which +++ call a blush of shame to my cheek.
I am but too apt to be rude, of which unfortunately you have had Cause bn Complain
but much must be forgiven to +++, who is wayward, young, and +++, and
who laughs because he is in pain. There has not been a night for the last 18
months, that I have not gone to my couch the victiom is a monamana, as
torturing as Jammie[?] – It is this feeling which has caused me to write you this
prosy, nonsensical, and impertinent epistle – I cannot sleep, and inflect[?] upon
you the result of my wakefulness - and now as I am at the end of my
sheet, permit me to ask of your absolution in your mind for any faults I
may have committed towards you, and believe me, they were not intentional, and
in Conclusion take with with you my prayer that God will bless you and may
you never meet one who esteems you less than does your once friend, and still in the
spirit of kindly feeling
Your unworthy correspondent E. Burke Fisher
