Letter from Charlotte Cushman to Emma Crow Cushman, Aug 24, 1869

Cushman's leg is well enough for Sir James to leave her. However, she is to rest in bed so that the wound can heal properly. She is very anxious that her breast cancer will return, but Dr. Gray is optimistic it will not once the gland is removed. Uncles Charles will visit Cushman but she does not think it worthwhile for Ned to visit as well since she would be in no state to keep him company before leaving Edinburgh. She also thinks it would be best for Emma to remain with her children.

Credit

Library of Congress, Charlotte Cushman Papers, Manuscript Division, Library of Congress, Washington, D.C.

[1175] I have no word from you this morning darling & I hope all is well with you & yours. It is at last decided that my leg is well enough. to let Sir James go on soon [?] Thursday. I am to be submitted to the pain. I had a dear letter from D^r Gray. The first paragraph of which is decisive enough. but I will enclose it to you after your Uncle Charles has seen it tomorrow when he will be here. He has got a pass as far

[1175 added vertically] Emma know when Nannie will stop. God love you my own darling. dear love to Ned
kisses to the beloved children +++ know me ever as I am  your own fondly devoted
Auntie.

[1175 reverse] as Carlisle & back. & leave London this morning at 11. I hope he will sleep at Carlisle & come on tomorrow morning. So if Ned has anything to say to him he must address him here. I dont [sic] know dear about Ned having to come up all this long way to see me. I hope to be all right by Sunday or Monday. & it is a long & tiring journey — of course I should be glad to see him before I go. but very likely I could not talk to him — I think perhaps you had better let him wait a telegram

[1176] unless he chooses of himself to come whether or no — but I do not want him to spend his money unnecassarily [sic]. Darling you know how gladly I would have you with me. and yet. You would only be more unhappy & anxious and the dear children want you & if you were away from them. should be anxious. I pray God that I may be quite calm [?] after it is over & not be long in healing the wound. & that I may not be kept here very long. Sir James says 10 to 12 days in bed. but I must be very careful not to let the arm be moved for fear of tearing open the wound again. ah. if you only knew my dread of it. & how my heart sinks within me as I think of it. God help me. & keep from me the fear that it may come again after this operation.

[1176 reverse] D^r Gray says "I need not disguise my fear that the indurated point in your breast, is likely to resist all internal treatment, & consequently to stay with you to the end of your earth life. unless you have it removed by surgical means." — He begs me to come home. & says. "Peace of mind & rest of body are very very important to you. especially now!" so. dear. you see I have even D^r Grays [sic] support. and Sir James says I have taken it in such good time. That it may not come again after the gland is removed. which it is to be entirely
Dearest. will you ask Nannie if she will take a little white shawl [?] for Mrs Stebbins. & leave it at Susan Cushmans [sic]. & will you write a note for me to Susan Cushman & ask her to deliver it to Mr Fleming for his +++ mother. Aunt Emma will send it on board the steamer to Nannie. on to here where she will stop. Let me or Aunt